Acknowledge Your Needs & Know Your S.T.U.F.
Ken Horne, LCSW
University of Virginia FEAP
It's Been a Year... But You Are Not Alone
As the school year ends, it is important to reflect on all you accomplished during this unconventional year. It is also crucial to check in with your mind, body, and spirit to take stock. As teachers, school staff, and administrators you have given of yourselves in countless ways throughout the year, and at times your own needs may have taken a back seat. Now is a time to assess any needs that may have been overlooked and recommit to your personal goals for wellness and replenishment. You are the only one who can truly acknowledge and meet your needs; Self-care is not selfish!
If you are feeling stressed, anxious or depressed, it is helpful to remind yourself that you are not alone. Since the COVID-19 pandemic, rates of anxiety and depression have tripled. In 2019, 11% of US adults reported symptoms of anxiety or depression. In 2020, just one year later, 34% of US adults reported symptoms of anxiety or depression (CDC, NCHS, US Census Bureau). While the causes are many, some contributing factors include social isolation, sleep disruption, increased screen time, financial stress, decreased movement, and more time indoors. All of these factors influence mood and motivation so it is helpful to assess your needs and recognize your choices for how to make conscious shifts that might benefit you physically, mentally, and emotionally.
One powerful mindfulness practice for noticing and meeting your needs is called “Knowing 
Your S.T.U.F.” This is an acronym that helps one notice four elements of emotions and move into constructive problem-solving. Taught by Psychologist Joel Minden, S.T.U.F. stands for Sensations, Thoughts, Urges, and Feelings. When you take a few minutes to step back and acknowledge these levels of your emotional experience in the present moment, you engage the executive brain and naturally develop more clarity about your needs and choices for meeting them in ways that serve you.
The Four Steps of STUF
In the first step of STUF, the focus is on physical SENSATIONS. Take a few deep breaths and scan the body. Often bodily reactions can help you identify a feeling. Rapid heart rate or breathing might be anxiety. Pain or heaviness might signal depression. Tension or clenched teeth might relate to anger. Take a few moments to notice what physical sensations you are aware of in your body. Remember not to focus on fixing, changing or judging whatever you find. With nonjudgment, take a few moments to breathe, notice, and name any sensations in the body – letting them be just as they are.
In the second step of STUF, the focus is on THOUGHTS. Try not to get carried away on a train of thought, but step back from the content to label the mental activity “thinking.” A normal stress response is that our minds
get busier and more negative, so set the intention to notice when this is happening and not be so quick to automatically believe your thoughts. As humans we often ruminate on setbacks from the past, personal limitations, judgments of others, or worry about something bad that might happen in the future. Common cognitive distortions include comparing, overgeneralizing, catastrophizing, projecting, and all-or-nothing thinking. With nonjudgment, take a few moments to breathe, notice, and name what is happening in your mind right now.
In the third step of STUF, the focus is on your URGES to do or not do something. When one is anxious, the urge might be to worry, over-think, or leave an uncomfortable social situation. With depression, the urge might be to stop trying or shut down in response to feelings of sadness or overwhelm. In anger, the urge might be to raise your voice, say something harsh, or fire off an angry email. Often the urge to use alcohol or drugs, binge watch TV, or scroll social media can be a way to numb out or avoid feeling difficult emotions. With nonjudgment, take a few moments to breathe, notice, and name any urges to do or not do something in the here and now.
In the fourth step of STUF, the focus is on FEELINGS. An important part of how we experience feelings is the process by which we assign labels to our collections of sensations, thoughts, and urges. When the heart is beating fast and you’re worried or having trouble breathing, you might label that “fear” or “anxiety.” When you’re exercising, however, this same internal arousal might be more positive and suggest you are “energized” or having a good workout. And if you’re about to see an old friend you haven’t seen in a long time, this experience might signal that you’re “excited.” With nonjudgment, step back to breathe, notice, and name any feelings you are aware of in the present moment. If you aren’t sure initially, try categorizing more generally as pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral.
OK, Now What Do I Do with All This STUF?
Once you have walked through these steps, consider what you would like to DO with your STUF. When you step back to observe, a field of choices opens up. Take a few minutes to consider options and problem-solve constructively. You might ask yourself, “What need is arising?”, “What is most important today?”, or “What is a skillful next step.” Try not to get stuck on making the “best” choice, but simply make a “good enough” choice. Some days you might prioritize self-care or relaxation, whereas other days you might go for a walk or reach out to a friend or family member. Some days you might intervene at the level of thought to counter and reframe a negative belief, whereas other days you might step back to create space and go easy on yourself as you move through a difficult emotion.
One of the most powerful things we can do for ourselves is to notice when we are stuck in judgment, story, and narrative. Walking through the steps of 
STUF is a wonderful mindfulness tool for interrupting the habitual, knee jerk reactions that can launch us into the cascade of rumination, difficult feelings, and destructive thoughts. When you notice you are stressed or stuck in a negative loop, pause to notice your STUF and take a few minutes for conscious problem-solving. While we can’t change what’s happening or control external events, our power is in how we choose to relate to what is happening. Set the intention to allow authentic emotions to exist and to respond as you would to a loved one – with kindness, understanding, and acceptance.
More questions? VKRP provides support via the online chat feature when you are in the system, via email vkrp@virginia.edu, and via toll free 866-301-8278 ext. 1
